Everyone has story to tell

So, will you read mine?

Actually, I didn't write it recently, I found this post in my draft. I remember writing it on new year's eve just because, but I don't remember why I didn't publish it and so I edited some part of it.

When I was little there are 3 things I always imagine the most. 

First, me being a pediatrician. It's literally my dream, to be a doctor, a pediatrician especially.

And now I'm not. I'm majoring computer science or so called informatics. I studied how to make a good software, how to design it, how to adopt human's brain into computer, make it safe, etc.

I remember how my mother always wish me to be a doctor on my birthday and in the end of my high school days I got accepted into computer science faculty without any test, but my report  marks. Then I just simply deceived.

I didn't try any entrance exam after that, I forgot that I've been dreaming to be a doctor all the time, I kept saying to myself that it is what God gives to me. Now I'm too sober to realize it. How could I think like that when I didn't even try, how could I give up on my dream, and how could I even forget what was my real dream?

I shouldn't regret it by now, because no matter what, I've been living in fun these college days. I met good people, make friend, join into some organizations, get a position. I think I should be more grateful and live happily with people who I love, right?

Second, me living abroad.

By the time I wrote this post, I haven't even gone abroad. YET. I don't know why but I believe that the sky out there would be different with the sky I look into everyday here. I learn how to speak English with so much effort just because this imagination of mine. Now I live far far far away from my home, my parents, my country and indeed the sky is the same, but the atmosphere is somewhat different. Here I could feel the atmosphere of accomplishment. Finally.

Third, me dying young.

Did I watch to much telenovela when I was a child?! I remember that almost everyday I kept visualizing my self in the future will get sick and die in 20s and my family, friends, will be drown in tears. I don't know why this imagination came from at that time. In fact, I was a child who likes to do everything perfectly and hereinafter I would demand a perfect result (or feedback) as well. As I grew old, I found some occurrences where no matter how hard I try, the result will not always be like I want. Those occurrences kept bothering me and made me stressed, like I couldn't accept it to the point I don't want to live anymore. Those might be the reason why I visualized weird imagination back then. Despite of having this imagination once, fortunately I met people, befriend them, sharing thoughts, read some motivational quotes, and all of that helped me to realize that there is still sky above the sky. So, here I am now portray my self as a very outgoing and chill(?) person who really wants to live a long long long life. Meh. 

Moreover, now I feel grateful that I am still here, writing, and reminiscing my stupid imaginations. Bye!

My grandma's locker

Since I got into college, I tried to put any clothes on differently everyday. Doing this thing for years is not as easy as it seems. I couldn't buy tops, skirts, simple dresses, and hijabs as often as I want. That's why instead of buying, I'd rather create and do some mix & match my clothes. It's nice to hear "Hey, you look so fresh in this outfit" or "Is it new?" or "How can you keep wearing new clothes everyday?", but honestly there were some times when my friends said "I don't think the color suit you well" or "Why are you wearing this kind of thing?" or "You surely look like having more weight in this outfit". Comments are accepted. It's a pleasure for me to keep learning how to dress nicely.

2 weeks ago I went to my grandma's house and she was arranging her old clothes. We then found some outers that exactly like my style and it was kind of surprising to know that those stuff are from 30 until 40 years ago!

It's a well made outers made by my grandma's favorite tailor (ya, it's not a goods store). The one with floral pattern has more coarse and thinner fabric. It was the oldest among those three but I love it the most. The fact that my grandma and me share the same size was also interesting because she's actually taller than me. 

My grandma also told me some stories why she wanted to make those and times when she was wearing those clothes as I tried the outers one by one. It gave me nostalgic feels as if I were her. 

Like I said before, the outer with floral pattern is my favourite and I like to mix & match clothes so as soon as I came back home I directly went to my closet and seek a dress to make a good pair. I pick my brown dress that gives netral and tranquil vibes (?). I thought of wearing a pink hijab to avoid making old look because that's what brown tone could do to you. 

Isn't it beautiful?

I'd like to keep learning and continue to please everyone's eyes with my style everyday :)

JUNGSIS

The ultimate gorgeous sisters in the (kpop) world...

I was so much into kpop since 2008. There's saying, "Once you enter kpop, you'll never comeback". As time goes by, I lost my interest little by little. BUT, YES! I never completely lost my interest on kpop. There's always something that pulls me back to this world. What is it called? Gravity? Kpop gravity?

Jessica Jung or Jung Sooyeon. She's a former Girls' Generation aka SNSD member. She's 1989 liner. Born in April, 18th. She's the unnie, the older one. She has a very east-asia-face, in my opinion. Very cute and beautiful. 

The dongsaeng or the younger one is Krystal Jung, Jung Soojung in Korea. She's from girlgroup F(x). 1994 liner. One year older than me, but I feel like we have huge age range because her aura, charisma, whatever is that, is just overflowing, in good way.

I became a fan of them since the reality show "Jessica and Krystal". I feel like I became obsessed with them because of the show. They're so normal in person and so honest at expressing themselves. 

That's how I feel after watching the show. They were known with their coldness, but I think there's nothing wrong with that, even Queen Elsa, who loved by everyone and whose song is sang by every layer of people, is a cold person, she even froze a whole city.

I also love them because of their fashion sense. I think they always wear basic clothes in safe-zone-color, but they can pull it perfectly. They make those simple clothes be alive. And their legs, as if they were made for jeans. 

Their voice! Their vocal color is unique eventhough it's not pleasing in the ear at first (since I love deep-low female vocal tone like Lana del rey). And I think their voice changes everytime they speak in English, yeah both of them could speak in English FLUENTLY, it sounds so sexy and more mature.

Overall, I like everything about them. Honestly this is the first time I like singer or artist to the point I want to be like them. Hahaha

Watch the show on youtube, the videos are in private mode, snapfinger42 has the playlist, so you can just seek it on snapfinger42 channel! Thankyou for visiting, XO

I missed the old times

xícara de café

ketika sebuah pertemanan yang sangat erat terpisahkan. ketika rasa ingin membenci itu datang. dan ketika menjauhi menjadi satu-satunya solusi.

hanya karena secangkir kopi.

yang biasanya mengakrabkan pertemanan itu. yang biasanya mencocokkan pribadi mereka. dan yang biasanya mendekatkan satu sama lain.

apa salahnya kalau temanmu masih ingin sering menikmati secangkir kopi di warung bersama?
apa salahnya kalau temanmu sekarang cukup dewasa untuk menolak ajakanmu?

bukan berarti dia berniat menghabiskan uangmu setiap kalinya..
bukan berarti juga menolak ajakanmu berarti dia menolak untuk berteman denganmu lagi.

dia hanya ingin kebersamaan.
tapi,
dia kini sepertinya mencoba untuk dewasa dengan memperhitungkan segala tindakannya..






duduk dan nikmatilah kopi berdua,
tidak ada yang berubah, hanya kini kalian lebih mengerti satu sama lain
amin

Kids are not that bad after all

sebuah pengakuan kecil dari saya, yang sebenernya mungkin temen-temen dan sodara-sodara saya pada sudah tau. I HATE KIDDDDSSSS !!!! but not all of the kids, just most of them :P
dari sekian pengalaman, setiap ketemu anak kecil mereka pasti menghindar, nangis, semacam itu lah. mungkin emang nggak ada chemistry~ yeyeeh

tapi ENGGAK untuk liburan kali ini. sepertinya hubunganku dengan para bocah cukup baik, hehehe. mereka lebih welcome ke saya, saya pun dengan senang hati main sama mereka. sudah mulai bisa membaca maksud keanehan mereka selama ini. hahahaha xD atau sebenarnya saya yang aneh karna nggak suka anak kecil :P
Captured this rare moments :')

Bintang ! gampang ucul anak ini :P

Alvin! suka banget difoto apalagi unjuk gigi :D

you deserve something better

I'm still wondering about what did you just say about 40 minutes ago
I'm still hoping that you just took a prank on me

and..

Even if that's true. I know that you deserve something better, pak..
I believe in you
You're still the greatest one for me
Now or later

pathétique

Op. 13 "Pathétique" atau sering dikenal juga sebagai "Pathétique Sonata", sebuah sonata yang merupakan hit pertama dari Beethoven yang sesungguhnya. Pertama kali dengerin rasanya kayak udah hanyut gitu aja, langsung seneng sama lagunya, hehe, coba googling dan ketemu banyak hal seru tentang sonata ini.

Sonata ini dimainkan dalam C minor yang berarti menggambarkan kesedihan, duka cita, dan pada umumya kunci ini dimainkan pada nada nada yang tragis. Dari judulnya aja sebenarnya diambil dari kata 'Pathetic' atau dalam bahasa Indonesia berarti sedih atau yang menyedihkan. Sheet musik ini dibilang orang-orang sih tragically beautiful dan tupi juga bilang hal yang sama. Kalau diperhatikan, gaya sonata yang satu ini agak beda (atau lumayan beda atau bahkan beda banget) sama sonata-sonata yang diciptakan orang lain, kayak Mozart, Bach, Haydn, dan temen-temennya. Kebanyakan sonata itu overturenya selalu ringan, halus, pake pianissimo, tapi di pathétique ini Beethoven mengawali dengan BANG! langsung pakai fortissimo sepertinya, dan itu buat Tupi kedengeran lebih menarik. Passionnya lebih kerasa, nyentuh hati, banget, sekali lagi, menurut Tupi. hehehe

Ada 3 movement buat lagu ini dan sekarang Tupi coba kasih denger buat yang 1st movement, walaupun sebenernya Tupi paling suka yang 2nd movement :D

Compilation

Sometimes we can't describe what our heart feel, but thanks to some lyricists in a part of this world I feel like they deliver some expressions that I totally can relate. And... umm... perhaps these lines of lyrics are what can describe my feelings right now.

You're so so handsome

my eyes my eyes are blinded

i can't breathe because i'm trembling

Gee .. Baby baby baby

gee .. Baby baby baby

Oh i feel so embarrassed. I can't look at you

i feel shy because i've fallen in love

Gee .. Baby baby baby

gee .. Baby baby baby

GEE!

By : Girls' Generation

It's my first time
Finally I fell in love
Me who loved myself
And liked being alone
Another me is coming
It's a beautiful restriction
Love can change so much in person
With love, today is beautiful
In front of me you're coming

Beautiful Restriction

By : Kim Jongseo 

I love him,
But everyday I'm learning,
All my life,
I've only been pretending,
Without me,
His world will go on turning,
A world that's full of happiness,
That I have never known...

I love him... I love him...
I love him... But only on my own... 

On My Own

By : Lea Salonga

We are not meant for each other, and being friends is the best thing for us,
There isn't a single thing we have in common,
So I claimed there's no way we can be lovers,
But I don't want to make excuses anymore.

I think I love you
But it must be so, cause I miss you
Without you,
I cannot do anything,
And you are always on my mind,
So seeing this, it must be,
I was unaware,
But now I can see that
Your presence have delved deeply into my heart

I Think I
By : Byul

pengecut

I end it before I start it ..

Such a loser, huh?

dari kata dasar kecut, ditambah awalan 'pe-' yang berarti pelaku. menjadi pengecut..

semua bermula waktu aku yakin kalo yang aku bayangin, yang aku harapin, yang aku pingin, ujung-ujungnya pasti tetep jadi bayangan, tetep jadi harapan, dan tetep jadi angan-angan.

dalem banget nggak sih? dan aku pingin, sebelum menyesal di belakang, CUKUP di sini, I'll stop right here, right now...

Wish me luck fellas !

untitled - new single

I found this freaking lol picture just now.

This picture tells us a story about a babysitter, a high class niece, and a baby auntie.

Once upon a time... There were A baby auntie and A high class niece. They're really close to each other. They called themself as Duo Amara.

One day, the baby auntie got a babysitter that always take care of her so well.

By all means that the baby auntie has a new good relationship with her babysitter.

Fortunately, the high class niece didn't feel burden or anything, instead she got interest with her aunt's baby sitter.

Since then, that 3 ladies became very intimate.

The famous Duo Amara also make a new single with the babysitter in 2010. The single named untiled and the group named Duo Amara feat. pide and unsurprisingly, the CDs sold 436899 copies.

What a popularity of theirs...

XDDDDD

minggu suram

UAS udah di depan mata! besok udah UAS! hari ini hari yang seharusnya penuh persiapan mental, jiwa, raga dan semuanya, tapi aku malah fb-an, twitter-an dan masih sempet ng-blog kayak gini. tadi di chat facebook kebetulan si pide, kawan sebangku di mts dulu online. dan sesama anak yang mengalami minggu suram ini meluapka isi hati terdalam. yaitu : males bersih-bersih
ya... ku akui, aku tidak mendapat izin untuk memposting blog ini, tapi... sudah terlanjur hee...
hahaha *evil smile*. sebenernya temenku satunya yang namanya dini juga membatalkan acara keluar bareng aku dan anak-anak lain karena disuruh bersih-bersih juga. jadi intinya, minggu suram adalah minggu penuh bersih-bersih kamar.

suatu saat entaar, aku bakal bikin robot yang bakal bersihin tuh kamarku! biar nggak males lagi. ahahay!

aw!

이런 게 익숙해져 가는 건 ireon ge iksukhaejyeo ganeun geon 정말 싫어 속상해 다 다 다 jeongmal sirheo soksanghae da da da

akhir-akhir ini, dua baris lirik yang dinyanyiin YoonA di Hoot, terngiang-ngiang di kepala. caranya dia nyanyiin itu lho. bikin gemes. mana gaya dance nya juga. tapi jangan sampai, nanti waktu ujian di british aku kebayang-bayang ini lagu. bisa bahaya kalo soalnya : who is the main character in story above? trus aku jawab : SNSD.


BY THE WAY, aku sebenernya males ke britishsejak minggu lalu, soalnya apa? ada satu anak yang selalu ngerasa bener, padahal pemikirannya BEGO GILA! mana pake ngemusuhin aku n temen-temenku lagi. nggak tau ya, kalo diia sendiri dan dia bener-bener sepi dari kawan! biar tuh, aku bejek-bejek sampe abis! biar dia mampus! #korbansinetron


ow ow! hampir stengah tiga... berarti habis ini aku berangkat... OH NO! Why I have to meet that queen of evil? CRAP! TToTT

dongeng sebelum tidur

pisau tajam. prajurit sepuluh satu terbaik sepanjang jaman. itu nama kelas ku. sepuluh 1 stetsa. akhir-akhir ini banyaak banget cobaannya anak x-1. kasiaan... anyway, karena nama kita yang udah sangar kayak gitu, tentu kita juga berusaha jadi anak-anak yang kuat, mau terjatuh berapa kalipun kita bakal berusaha berdiri lagi.

waktu ada yang usul buat bikin jaket kelas, langsung aku inget sama jumper nya snsd yang kataku sih simpel tapi keren dan cocok buat tema kekompakan. nih gambarnya,

cuma, masalahnya si cowok-cowok apa juga di kasi yang model begini? berasa aneh lho... yaa mungkin buat anak cowok cari model lain aja dulu. gara-gara PMS, jadi males mikir mulu bawaannya. oops! blak-blakan banget! wakakakakak!

ini kenapa sih, semua orang pada flu. termasuk aku juga sih */plak!*. padahal lagi pingin begadang begadang, walopun mbah rhoma irama nggak ngebolehin. mana dingin pula. medan magnet terbesar di rumahku (baca : kasur) jadi makin kuat. so... apadaya diri ini kalo emang nggak bisa menahan hasrat pengistirahatan mata. yakin deh, besok pasti bangun kesiangan. oh noo!!!

bukan lelaki sempurna

rasanya... bukan seperti aku...
aku yang ini melihat seorang laki-laki...

lelaki yang senantiasa memimpin teman-temannya
pemimpin yang saat disalahkan, hanya menarik nafas lalu membereskan semuanya

lelaki yang menengadahkan tangannya di sepeda motornya saat akan memulai perjalanan
ia berdoa sebelum menyebrang...

lelaki yang mau sholat dan menjadi imam bagi yang lain
di saat teman-temannya yang lain makan dan bermain dan melalaikan ibadah

lelaki yang pernah memuji wanita lain tepat di telingaku

lelaki yang selalu bersemangat dan dengan musik yang selalu mengiringinya.... tampak tak ada duka dalam hidupnya


aku tidak ingin memilikinya. aku kagum sekali padanya.
benar-benar kagum


jangan sampai kagum ini menjadi rasa yang lebih