Making each other's dreams come true

I do want to do that

... but, what is my dream?

Everyone has story to tell

So, will you read mine?

Actually, I didn't write it recently, I found this post in my draft. I remember writing it on new year's eve just because, but I don't remember why I didn't publish it and so I edited some part of it.

When I was little there are 3 things I always imagine the most. 

First, me being a pediatrician. It's literally my dream, to be a doctor, a pediatrician especially.

And now I'm not. I'm majoring computer science or so called informatics. I studied how to make a good software, how to design it, how to adopt human's brain into computer, make it safe, etc.

I remember how my mother always wish me to be a doctor on my birthday and in the end of my high school days I got accepted into computer science faculty without any test, but my report  marks. Then I just simply deceived.

I didn't try any entrance exam after that, I forgot that I've been dreaming to be a doctor all the time, I kept saying to myself that it is what God gives to me. Now I'm too sober to realize it. How could I think like that when I didn't even try, how could I give up on my dream, and how could I even forget what was my real dream?

I shouldn't regret it by now, because no matter what, I've been living in fun these college days. I met good people, make friend, join into some organizations, get a position. I think I should be more grateful and live happily with people who I love, right?

Second, me living abroad.

By the time I wrote this post, I haven't even gone abroad. YET. I don't know why but I believe that the sky out there would be different with the sky I look into everyday here. I learn how to speak English with so much effort just because this imagination of mine. Now I live far far far away from my home, my parents, my country and indeed the sky is the same, but the atmosphere is somewhat different. Here I could feel the atmosphere of accomplishment. Finally.

Third, me dying young.

Did I watch to much telenovela when I was a child?! I remember that almost everyday I kept visualizing my self in the future will get sick and die in 20s and my family, friends, will be drown in tears. I don't know why this imagination came from at that time. In fact, I was a child who likes to do everything perfectly and hereinafter I would demand a perfect result (or feedback) as well. As I grew old, I found some occurrences where no matter how hard I try, the result will not always be like I want. Those occurrences kept bothering me and made me stressed, like I couldn't accept it to the point I don't want to live anymore. Those might be the reason why I visualized weird imagination back then. Despite of having this imagination once, fortunately I met people, befriend them, sharing thoughts, read some motivational quotes, and all of that helped me to realize that there is still sky above the sky. So, here I am now portray my self as a very outgoing and chill(?) person who really wants to live a long long long life. Meh. 

Moreover, now I feel grateful that I am still here, writing, and reminiscing my stupid imaginations. Bye!

Delectable food for healing

Things are getting a bit hectic for me at the moment.
I found the past few weeks rather tiring and yet it was not that productive.

I always thought that I have to spend my youth by keeping myself busy and doing things that would make me happy. But lately I thought that I've wasted my youth by not getting anything from that.

I know that it's too early to say something like that.

But, ...

Well... all I need to do is keep doing my best with patient and be grateful for everything that I have.


So, today finally I got a short healing time and what else could heal this stress except FOOD!

It was at Urban Pop, a cafe that likely dedicated for kpop fans. They have some korean easy-to-make food like ramyun and kimbab. They also have rice burger (?), a burger that use rice instead of buns. Spaghetti, pasta, and pancake for dessert are also on the menu. 

I ordered ice dilmah mint, it's kind of tea but honestly it felt so weirdly fresh and rather unique.

It is located at Sawojajar, Malang, for the detail you could open this link! Sawojajar is one of area that I used to come a lot when I was still on high school. Now, everytime I go there, there're always butterflies in my heart. And goosebumps, sometimes. Because it's just so nostalgic.

Typical of korean food, they were so RED. But they were not as spicy as some noodles brand in Malang. So they are still easy to eat. The serving is just right, not too much but still be able to make me full. The broth has not too strong fishy flavour. And mineral water is free! 

 

Even if I only get 1  hour to enjoy this healing time, I guess it was worth enough after my sleepless night in front on laptop, clicking the mouse, typing words, highlighting citation endlessly. 

Blogging is also my way to relieving stress, that's why I take my time to write and upload it here :)

Well, 4 days until weekend. Have a great day till then!

ps. Thanks to my auntie for accompanying and taking my photos today

I missed the old times

xícara de café

ketika sebuah pertemanan yang sangat erat terpisahkan. ketika rasa ingin membenci itu datang. dan ketika menjauhi menjadi satu-satunya solusi.

hanya karena secangkir kopi.

yang biasanya mengakrabkan pertemanan itu. yang biasanya mencocokkan pribadi mereka. dan yang biasanya mendekatkan satu sama lain.

apa salahnya kalau temanmu masih ingin sering menikmati secangkir kopi di warung bersama?
apa salahnya kalau temanmu sekarang cukup dewasa untuk menolak ajakanmu?

bukan berarti dia berniat menghabiskan uangmu setiap kalinya..
bukan berarti juga menolak ajakanmu berarti dia menolak untuk berteman denganmu lagi.

dia hanya ingin kebersamaan.
tapi,
dia kini sepertinya mencoba untuk dewasa dengan memperhitungkan segala tindakannya..






duduk dan nikmatilah kopi berdua,
tidak ada yang berubah, hanya kini kalian lebih mengerti satu sama lain
amin

you deserve something better

I'm still wondering about what did you just say about 40 minutes ago
I'm still hoping that you just took a prank on me

and..

Even if that's true. I know that you deserve something better, pak..
I believe in you
You're still the greatest one for me
Now or later

Emptiness

Too far is not good, neither too close.
feel like outstanding when alone, but in a crowd? feel like unwanted.
can't force, can't be mad.
there's always time like this.
I'm okay..

D-3

3 hari sebelum masuk sekolaaah T^T langsung lemes waktu inget kalo liburanku bakal selesai bentar lagi. am I too selfish?? kalo inget temen-temen sih kangen, kangen bangeeeet, Ninis temen sebangkuku, Fani temen ter... itulah, Apin temen yang paling 'nggak ada lo nggak rame', Rizka, Pii, semuuuaaa, apalagi sama cowok terganteng sedunia bulbul, TITO! tapi kalo ngeliat segi pelajaran, tugas, dan lain-lainnya, duuuh nggak pengen ketemu >.<

tahun ini, kami anak-anak kelas XII Stetsa memikul beban berat sebagai pejuang UNAS. eh, singkatan jadul, ralat, memikul beban berat sebagai pejuang UN 2013. udah bukan waktunya buat main-main katanya, kudu belajaaar mulu, rajin ikut bimbel, banyak berdoa, minta doa restu orang tua. mungkin di mata guru-guru kami masih malas, di mata orang tua kami terlalu banyak main, tapi kami bener-bener udah berjuang sebisa kami walaupun belum maksimal. liat aja aksinya Storiascore (XII IPA 1 Stetsa) -ku tercinta kalo lagi belajar ^^

Ninisyoe nggetu mbaca buku :)

Afiq & Wimas duduk di bangku paling depaan!

Auliyaa Syara uhuk. ranking 2 paralel semester lalu uhuk.. :p

Tito yang lagi ndiemin aku, serius belajar sama Fani eciyeee  ^_^

Nurul lagi njelasin... emm... nggak tau apa :p

Malu bertanya sesat di jalan! Ninis lagi tanya ke bangku lain  

Rani. karena belajar menghadap ke depan sudah terlalu mainstream

ayo temen-temen pejuang UN 2013 yang lainnya, CEMUNGUDD!
(9 ^o^)9
haddduh tapi liburannya abis ini udah selesai T^T maaf anak labil..

what I wannabe...

actually, it's not really what I want to be in a first place, but seems like what faculty I plan to get in to maybe,
so here it is..
1. Medical or
2. Engineering (esp. architecture)

Banyak orang yang sudah merubah pemikiran tentang ilmu pendidikan kedokteran, dulu memang fakultas ini diagungkan, dinomor satukan, dan temen-temennya, tapi sekarang nggak sedikit juga kesan negatif yang ditinggalkan. hmm.. gimana pun juga jadi dokter itu cita-citanya Tupi dari waktu Tupi masih tingginya 120-an cm dan setelah tinggi itu bertambah lalu bertambah lalu bertambah lagi, semakin Tupi sadar kalau masuk kedokteran itu nggak mudah.. everybody knows it! :D salahkan mama! dari masih piyik, setiap disuapin mama, beliau selalu bilang kalo makannya harus habis biar bisa pinter jadi dokter -_-

Arsitek! Arsitek!! Arsitek!!! pernah juga dulu dengan polosnya waktu kecil ditanya kalo gede ntar pengennya jadi apa, Tupi jawab 'jadi dokter, tapi nyambi nggambar-nggambar rumah' hahaha, bego, ngapain jadi dokter pake nyambi kerja lainnya segala? tapi emang, Tupi hobi nggambar, bukan sekedar nggambar aja, tapi lebih ke perencanaan, dan kalo dipikir ulang Tupi kepingin jadi arsitek karena hobi, bukan karena bisikan-bisikan orang kanan kiri. JATI DIRI?? mungkin..

seharusnya judul postingannya Tupi beri nama 'Dilema' aja ya.. hehehe Cherrybelle nget! wkwk

pathétique

Op. 13 "Pathétique" atau sering dikenal juga sebagai "Pathétique Sonata", sebuah sonata yang merupakan hit pertama dari Beethoven yang sesungguhnya. Pertama kali dengerin rasanya kayak udah hanyut gitu aja, langsung seneng sama lagunya, hehe, coba googling dan ketemu banyak hal seru tentang sonata ini.

Sonata ini dimainkan dalam C minor yang berarti menggambarkan kesedihan, duka cita, dan pada umumya kunci ini dimainkan pada nada nada yang tragis. Dari judulnya aja sebenarnya diambil dari kata 'Pathetic' atau dalam bahasa Indonesia berarti sedih atau yang menyedihkan. Sheet musik ini dibilang orang-orang sih tragically beautiful dan tupi juga bilang hal yang sama. Kalau diperhatikan, gaya sonata yang satu ini agak beda (atau lumayan beda atau bahkan beda banget) sama sonata-sonata yang diciptakan orang lain, kayak Mozart, Bach, Haydn, dan temen-temennya. Kebanyakan sonata itu overturenya selalu ringan, halus, pake pianissimo, tapi di pathétique ini Beethoven mengawali dengan BANG! langsung pakai fortissimo sepertinya, dan itu buat Tupi kedengeran lebih menarik. Passionnya lebih kerasa, nyentuh hati, banget, sekali lagi, menurut Tupi. hehehe

Ada 3 movement buat lagu ini dan sekarang Tupi coba kasih denger buat yang 1st movement, walaupun sebenernya Tupi paling suka yang 2nd movement :D

mengingat Bali~

Lho. Kaget, setahun ternyata udah nggak ngepos! Hahahaha xD

seperti biasa, kalo uda jenuh kebanyakan pressure, kemana ku berlari? ke blog ku yang meskipun terbengkalai tapi always menerima ku kembali ini :') ciyee so sweet abiss.. and now! and now! and noooooww I just wanna brag to you guys soal liburan 5 hari ku, dan teman-teman se-angkatan STETSA (nama gaulnya SMAN 4 Malang -.-) di BALIIII!!! sharing picture asik kali ya biar nggak dibilang pelit, kikir, dan koloni-koloninya..

Museum Bajra Sandhi with Storiascore B)

Tanah Lot, waiting the sun goes down :p

Jepretannya Tito di Bedugul :D

The last, but ppl said it's not the least.
From left to right : Duo chinese - si Sangar sanger - Me w/ Tito (the hyper one)  xD

A story sadder than sadness

Amani, thanks for your existence in this world. Even when you're gone now, you will still in our heart. Even it take so many times to believe that you're not in here anymore, in fact we have to move on. Semua terlalu cepat, nggak lama kamu sakit, nggak lama aku nggak liat kamu, but why God pick you so fast?

No more overloaded happiness, no more overloaded passion, no more extra-religion,

no more 'you'.

We pray for you.

Be safe there.

May Allah SWT. bless you and give you all that you deserve to get.

1994-2011

Rest in peace

My Friend, Amani Muhammad

pengecut

I end it before I start it ..

Such a loser, huh?

dari kata dasar kecut, ditambah awalan 'pe-' yang berarti pelaku. menjadi pengecut..

semua bermula waktu aku yakin kalo yang aku bayangin, yang aku harapin, yang aku pingin, ujung-ujungnya pasti tetep jadi bayangan, tetep jadi harapan, dan tetep jadi angan-angan.

dalem banget nggak sih? dan aku pingin, sebelum menyesal di belakang, CUKUP di sini, I'll stop right here, right now...

Wish me luck fellas !